The Last Blog Ever

In my ongoing project to move all of my old essays and whatnots from The Dopple Gang to this Tumblr for archiving.

Do You Read The Economist?

10. Do you have a deep desire to be perceived as foreign?
9. If you’re at a loss of words in a conversation, do you rescue yourself by saying “Do you know what the real tragedy is? The failure of the Doha Round.”
9a. Are you too afraid to ask anyone what the Doha Round even is, lest you be found out?
8. Do you think it’s hilarious that Sweden is considered more “economically free” than the US?
7. Do you preface your statements with “Although this newspaper believes…I mean me. Me. The following is honestly my opinion.”
6. Do you laugh heartily at those who didn’t see the warning signs of the sub-prime mortgage crisis in the failure of central banks to regulate new financial tools and hedge funds? No? Then you must read the Economist, you laissez-faire moron.
5. Do you like to leave your magazines face-up by the entrance to your home, or allow them to slip casually from your briefcase?
4. Are you having trouble finding a way to mention your knowledge of the British youth-violence problem?
3. Do you think of traffic signals as “soft paternalism?”
2. Did you spend your late teens/early 20’s reading the International Socialist Review?
1. Does a slow news week reduce you to making broad generalizations about the future of Nuclear Power/Brazil/India/China?

If you answered yes to any of these except 6, you read the Economist.